I Feel With My Hands, Silly! How Do You Feel?

I am a smarty pants and whenever I am asked how I feel I usually answer "I feel with my hands" and smile.  It isn't even a genuine smile, but one of those fake, clown smiles.  I would rather get a groan or a laugh from another person than talk about myself.

When someone we know suffers a huge loss or a minor setback and we say that we understand, offer support, but then order a pizza and watch a movie.  We feel for that person and we feel more when it is a friend or someone loved, but you can't really feel what they feel in that moment.  We aren't designed that way.  Even if you have experienced what the other person is experiencing, your mind protects you and doesn't let you go fully back to that painful place and so you still cannot say that you understand how they feel at this time.  You can remember how it felt for yourself, but we instinctively want to survive.

This brings me to when bad things or setbacks happen to us.  We immediately go to that place where we are so hard on ourselves and the bar is so much higher than it would be for those we care about.  Our bar must be higher because we feel so very low.  Not every circumstance is the same, not every person handles it the same way, and we don't all recover in the same way.

Is being relentlessly positive after a long cry the way to bob above the water?  Is it to be with friends?  Is it to go for a run?  Well, I don't run and I can't run as it would surely kill me.  Or do you ever get to a point where you feel like this is the one that you will never recover from?

This topic takes me to several points in my life where I wished I had made a different decision, waited a little longer, or walked away.  I've always stayed positive and I work very hard to keep in mind what things are important and what things really aren't.  I'm not always right about those things, but I still remain positive.

I guess you can lower the bar enough to feel normal again, but have higher future expectations without settling.  Right?

May I Have Fries With My YoYo?

A lot of us struggle from time to time with our bodies and weight issues.  I've never seen myself as a fat girl, even when I was, but I do get to a point where I am not comfortable.  By comfortable, I mean sitting, getting up off the floor, or running up a flight of stairs.  I haven't always been this way, but I am older and I am trying really hard to pay better attention to the way I feel.

Stress plays a big role in my eating habits and since I work from home my desire to never leave the house forces me to eat what I already have available rather than driving to the grocery store.  I laugh at myself for scheduling my store visits with the days I get my nephews from school and the times I work outside the home once or twice a week.

Starting over with health issues is always going to be part of my life.  I know this.  I do really well for years and then I just bite the big one and it usually involves thick pan pizzas and something with cream in it.  It just creeps up on me and I don't realize it until it fully hits and I can't wear anything I wore two months ago.

My sister-in-law offered to help today by asking me to get my lazy butt up to her gym her by 6am.  I asked her if this was the boot camp she's been going to for a month or more and she skirted around the answer.  I asked her to describe what they do.  Nuh uh!  I would die right on the spot.  Yes, it is the darned boot camp.

I told her that the ONLY way I would do it is if my nephew goes with us to video this horrible event for his YouTube channel.  Unless it is for a laugh, it isn't going to happen in public!

Career Day In The 80's

My last post about childhood photos and aspirations reminded me of the Career Days we had in high school.  I suppose the intent was to expose students to potential career ideas where professional adults came in to talk to us in our chosen groups about what they do for a living and the education required.

I don't remember the list being very broad and I think I chose some easy or more well-known topics.  I've always wondered if anyone of the other teenagers was inspired by this exercise.  I think a light goes on for those who are drawn to a particular field at a young age.  There was also a career assessment we could take and our goals could be based on the results of our answers.  Most of my girlfriends, including myself, were told we would make excellent secretaries.  My mind immediately said "that test is crap."

My brother had what is commonly known as a lazy eye when he was very small.  Frequent trips to our favorite optometrist and he knew he wanted to be an eye doctor.  Well, he's an eye doctor.  He'll probably pay for student loans until his children retire, but he knew, he went and he did.  I don't recall ever having such a moment for myself.

Up until I moved to my current city I was on a good path and was nearly finished with my bachelors, but the job I was offered when I moved here wouldn't allow for continued education and I had to put it aside.  I made the absolute best of what I chose, made smart decisions, made stupid decisions, and ultimately came to the conclusion that I now know what I definitely do not want to do.  I don't want to be unhappy and I don't want to wear a suit.

Make sure you take control of your children's career possibilities by making sure they are exposed to areas they may not choose on their own.  We tend to choose what we know or what we're familiar with, but what if we saw something for the first time that caused that light to go off in our heads.  Or will your children make excellent secretaries someday?

Actress, Dancer, and Maybe a Truck Driver

The book my mom put together of my first years of school surfaced this week in a plastic bin I keep of old photos.  The school photo, report cards, valentines, programs and my aspirations in my very own handwriting made me giggle.

I am certain that Charlie's Angels played a significant part in my early career goals.  Of course, I never realized they were officers of the law until much later and didn't care. 

The decisions you help your child make about career goals and the education required should start early.  Expose them to people and ideas to get those seeds started and encourage them to ask questions.

I never wanted to cure diseases, invent something we can't live without, or lead nations, but I do want to be happy and feel like I am helping someone somewhere.

So, when you see a penny that is heads up, what secret wish do you make?

The Benefits of Bartending School

There seems to be heated commentary all over the web about this topi.  I've read a lot of message boards over the past couple of years relating to whether or not you should go to Bartending School if you want to be a bartender. No, you certainly don't have to and it is something you can learn the hard way over time behind an actual bar.

There are benefits to taking the time to attend a certified school.  Those benefits are that you know the basic makeup of specific types of drinks.  How they are mixed or not mixed and how it affects their taste and even the look of the drink.  That is extremely important because not knowing something very simple about a drink that another person is paying $8 or more to have served to them can also impact the business, your regular customers, and more importantly your tips.

People of all ages bartend for different reasons.  Some to get through college, some because they love the restaurant business, and others because if it is done correctly it is an art.  In my case a drink should look like art, should be presented as art, and since it should be easy money for any restaurant should have as much time given to its presentation as food presentation.

Bartending school also covers a lot of the local laws for where you live and plan to work.  There is a lot of responsibility that comes with handing a glass of alcohol across a bar.  Sure, the place where you work may provide that training, but in the places where I worked there was only one who took the time and made it mandatory to attend for all bartenders and servers.  It matters because it can keep you out of jail and can keep you employed.

Another nice benefit is that many bartending schools hire their graduates to work at events and they pay the bartenders well to work.  If you go through a catering company to pick up extra work they take a large part of what they charge for you to be there.

It was worth the effort for me to go and I don't regret it, even if I am not bartending today.  It often leads to other great things.

You Need Two More Jobs!

I've written before about working from home and I still do that through a company called Arise out of Miramar, Florida.  I've had the same client for almost five years now and will start training this week for a second client through that company and I find myself in a curious place.

There are other opportunities presenting themselves for those of us who are reliable and self-motivated and able to work from home without having someone stand over us to get work completed.  I find myself researching topics on a whim or to debunk some nonsense I've seen on facebook, but I may have the ability to turn that natural curiosity into a job.  If so, that would be a nice addition to my work at home world.

Then there's the restaurant.  The same restaurant I wrote about last summer that I still love.  Going to bartending school was a leap of faith that it could turn into something else helpful.  It has turned into an opportunity for me to move up a little and become a key manager a few days a week.  While it doesn't pay a lot to be a key manager, it does say a lot about their faith in my abilities to manage, watch my management style, and how I manage myself.  I've also been told that I am on a list of potentials to begin management training at some time in the future, which could be very beneficial to me in the long run and could include benefits and paid vacations that I haven't had the luxury of enjoying since mid 2002.

Would I give up working from home to dedicate a minimum required fifty-five hours per week in the restaurant world?  Until recently I didn't even know that might become an option.  If you were a single woman in your mid-forties would you do it?

Hop, Skip and Jump Up

Since September 2011 I have worked for three restaurants and I can tell you that I've seen things that make you wonder why.  Why weak people are placed in management positions.  Why proper hiring and training techniques aren't implemented.  Why food quality diminishes in many new concepts after initial openings.

Bartending is a blast, but oddly enough I think I may be in love with the restaurant business.  I serve and bartend right now and have expressed interest in becoming a more permanent part of this restaurant team.  The previous two restaurants were not what I had in mind for future achievements.

I watch some pretty incredible kids work their way through school.  Make plans for their futures and I really hope they are successful in whatever they want to do.  Having no kids of my own I get to watch good kids have fun and work hard and learn to be themselves. 

I am learning so much more about life.